Wyszdom

I was browsing some of the old Google Friends newsletters when I came across an older list of reasons to work for Google. Here are the first two items:

1. Hot technology
2. Cool technology

Cute.

I was totally burned by Matt today in a meeting.

We started the day with an 8 AM meeting together (video conference with Europe), and I thought I was going to get through the day with the upper hand when Matt went to the wrong room (he blamed the early time), using state-of-the-art technology to connect two Mountain View rooms that were only separated by the floor/ceiling as his room was directly below mine. Man, he must have felt pretty silly for those 30 seconds before he came upstairs.

As the meeting went on, my phone started beeping loudly on I believe three different occasions, even prompting Matthew to send me snarky trans-Atlantic comments about the disturbances via IM. Each time it started beeping I scrambled to turn it off, but wasn’t able to silence it quickly since I’m still not an Android ninja (I haven’t switched back to my iPhone). So there I was, spending most of the hour looking like a bumbling technologically illiterate fool who doesn’t know how to put his phone on vibrate at work.

What had happened was that since I use my phone as my alarm clock, and I’m usually not at work (and often not out of bed) during the hour of the meeting, my alarms were going off, which logically isn’t subject to the restrictions of “silent mode.” And it wasn’t just a single disturbance because I’m so not a morning person that I have five alarms set on my phone: 5:00, 6:00, 7:00, 8:30, and 9:00. I think we heard the 8:30 and 9:00 alarms, and I may have accidentally snoozed one making it go off twice. Why starting at 5 AM? Because as much as I’m not a morning person, I want to get into work early. It hardly ever happens.

Anyway, in a later meeting, Matt was the last to arrive. I thought it would be hilarious to bring back an old team tradition where the last arrival had to tell a joke. Just as I called him out, someone else’s phone rang. Without missing a beat, Matt asked, “Wysz, is that your phone?” The rest of the group looked at him, confused. He simply said, “That’s my joke,” and sat down.

It happened again.

This email comes from a different tech company in the area:

The OnlineHaircuts bus is at my office right now.  I walked over and was told to schedule an appointment.  How do I do that?

Here’s a snippet of our dinner conversation when I went home for Easter.

My grandmother was telling us about a recent exchange on a bus:

Bus Driver: [talking about his job] It keeps me out of my wife’s hair.
My grandfather: But it doesn’t keep you off the streets.

Zing! My grandmother said that the driver probably went home and told his wife about a funny old man on his bus.

“What old man?” my grandfather interjected.

We all laughed. My grandfather held up his hands and said, “No charge.”

A few minutes ago, I was trying to get some information out of Nelson, but he said he was too embarrassed and wouldn’t reveal the info. I respected that, but as a final attempt to get it out of him, I offered:

“I’ll tell you something embarrassing about me.”

But Matt immediately took the value out of this offer:

“Yeah, but you’d probably just blog about it if we waited long enough.”

True.

Me: i’m sending you an email
Matt: that’s so web 2.0
Matt: twitter that to me on lala

Reid
hey wysz
Michael Wyszomierski
hey reid
Reid
since you know so much about the office
Reid
i wanted to find the episode
Reid [timestamp: 12:07:46]
where dwight and jim have poor employee review scores
Michael Wyszomierski [timestamp: 12:07:55]
customer survey
Reid
that’s the name?
Michael Wyszomierski
is the name of the episode
Michael Wyszomierski
yes
Reid
WOW
Reid
you’re good
Michael Wyszomierski
thanks
Michael Wyszomierski
http://www.hulu.com/watch/43180/the-office-customer-survey
Reid
wow that was amazing
Reid
good job

Michael Wyszomierski
thnaks
Michael Wyszomierski
taknks
Michael Wyszomierski
thanks
Michael Wyszomierski
will do
Mike Leotta
drunk?
Michael Wyszomierski
no, just sitting in a weird position
Michael Wyszomierski
and still getting used to my macbook wheel
Mike Leotta
hahah
Mike Leotta
that got like 1500 diggs in about 20 minutes today
Michael Wyszomierski
wow
Michael Wyszomierski
it was really well done
Michael Wyszomierski
i liked the attention to detail
Michael Wyszomierski
everything looked like real apple marketing material
Michael Wyszomierski
they got the font and look and everything just right
Michael Wyszomierski
even made those little signs you see in apple stores
Michael Wyszomierski
very well done
Michael Wyszomierski
better than the “real” news i heard on the radio this morning
Michael Wyszomierski
that said “apple’s mac expo” was in town
Michael Wyszomierski
which is totally wrong
Michael Wyszomierski
it’s called Macworld, and it’s not apple’s conference
Michael Wyszomierski
i yelled at my radio but they didn’t hear me
Mike Leotta
hahah
Michael Wyszomierski
and then i started yelling that california forgot how to drive while i was gone
Michael Wyszomierski
it was a lovely morning
Mike Leotta
i got stuck in traffic during the 2 mile drive from the dentist to work
Mike Leotta
i wasn’t happy either
Michael Wyszomierski
that always fascinates me
Michael Wyszomierski
how there is traffic in the late morning
Michael Wyszomierski
i mean who are all these people?
Michael Wyszomierski
are they all late for work every day?
Mike Leotta
you’re one of them

If you’ve ever had Mike repeat what you just said using slightly different words that completely change the meaning, you will not be surprised that his mind works this way:

Mike: so far the docs have been helping a lot this year
hooray Google!
Me: cloud computing!
Mike: sometimes when i hear someone say that very fast, i hear clown computing
and i get really excited, and a little scared

Michael Wyszomierski: see
Michael Wyszomierski: i’m always right
Nelson Bradley: with non socially related things
Nelson Bradley: i agree
Nelson Bradley: social-event