Wyszdom

It happened again.

This email comes from a different tech company in the area:

The OnlineHaircuts bus is at my office right now.  I walked over and was told to schedule an appointment.  How do I do that?

Here’s a snippet of our dinner conversation when I went home for Easter.

My grandmother was telling us about a recent exchange on a bus:

Bus Driver: [talking about his job] It keeps me out of my wife’s hair.
My grandfather: But it doesn’t keep you off the streets.

Zing! My grandmother said that the driver probably went home and told his wife about a funny old man on his bus.

“What old man?” my grandfather interjected.

We all laughed. My grandfather held up his hands and said, “No charge.”

A few minutes ago, I was trying to get some information out of Nelson, but he said he was too embarrassed and wouldn’t reveal the info. I respected that, but as a final attempt to get it out of him, I offered:

“I’ll tell you something embarrassing about me.”

But Matt immediately took the value out of this offer:

“Yeah, but you’d probably just blog about it if we waited long enough.”

True.

Me: i’m sending you an email
Matt: that’s so web 2.0
Matt: twitter that to me on lala

Reid
hey wysz
Michael Wyszomierski
hey reid
Reid
since you know so much about the office
Reid
i wanted to find the episode
Reid [timestamp: 12:07:46]
where dwight and jim have poor employee review scores
Michael Wyszomierski [timestamp: 12:07:55]
customer survey
Reid
that’s the name?
Michael Wyszomierski
is the name of the episode
Michael Wyszomierski
yes
Reid
WOW
Reid
you’re good
Michael Wyszomierski
thanks
Michael Wyszomierski
http://www.hulu.com/watch/43180/the-office-customer-survey
Reid
wow that was amazing
Reid
good job

Michael Wyszomierski
thnaks
Michael Wyszomierski
taknks
Michael Wyszomierski
thanks
Michael Wyszomierski
will do
Mike Leotta
drunk?
Michael Wyszomierski
no, just sitting in a weird position
Michael Wyszomierski
and still getting used to my macbook wheel
Mike Leotta
hahah
Mike Leotta
that got like 1500 diggs in about 20 minutes today
Michael Wyszomierski
wow
Michael Wyszomierski
it was really well done
Michael Wyszomierski
i liked the attention to detail
Michael Wyszomierski
everything looked like real apple marketing material
Michael Wyszomierski
they got the font and look and everything just right
Michael Wyszomierski
even made those little signs you see in apple stores
Michael Wyszomierski
very well done
Michael Wyszomierski
better than the “real” news i heard on the radio this morning
Michael Wyszomierski
that said “apple’s mac expo” was in town
Michael Wyszomierski
which is totally wrong
Michael Wyszomierski
it’s called Macworld, and it’s not apple’s conference
Michael Wyszomierski
i yelled at my radio but they didn’t hear me
Mike Leotta
hahah
Michael Wyszomierski
and then i started yelling that california forgot how to drive while i was gone
Michael Wyszomierski
it was a lovely morning
Mike Leotta
i got stuck in traffic during the 2 mile drive from the dentist to work
Mike Leotta
i wasn’t happy either
Michael Wyszomierski
that always fascinates me
Michael Wyszomierski
how there is traffic in the late morning
Michael Wyszomierski
i mean who are all these people?
Michael Wyszomierski
are they all late for work every day?
Mike Leotta
you’re one of them

If you’ve ever had Mike repeat what you just said using slightly different words that completely change the meaning, you will not be surprised that his mind works this way:

Mike: so far the docs have been helping a lot this year
hooray Google!
Me: cloud computing!
Mike: sometimes when i hear someone say that very fast, i hear clown computing
and i get really excited, and a little scared

Michael Wyszomierski: see
Michael Wyszomierski: i’m always right
Nelson Bradley: with non socially related things
Nelson Bradley: i agree
Nelson Bradley: social-event

Nelson Bradley: beah fails

[I consult him for a minute]

Nelson Bradley: beah is good

I prefer Pepsi, but at restaurants, I order Coke. I do this because it’s more likely that the restaurant serves Coke and not Pepsi. So instead of setting myself up for disappointment the majority of the time, I instead ask in a way that will either get me what I ordered (satisfactory), or a pleasant surprise.

Here’s how it goes down when they serve Pepsi:
Me: I’ll have a Coke.
Server: I’m sorry, is Pepsi okay?
Me: Even better.

See, I’m happy, and so is the server, who went from feeling sorry to relieved to having a happy customer.