News Bit and/or Announcement Archive

Home of the Wysz
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Apple enjoying 100% market share of iPods.
Saturday, September 9, 2006
First "Bring your own apples" apple orchard apparently the first for a reason.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Wysz don't go to class no more.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Professor desperately trying to get quoted on The Jolt.
Tuesday, October 4, 2005
Man wearing FBI t-shirt actually in FBI.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
TiVo paused for pretzel chewing.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Dave's in HD!
Sunday, July 10, 2005
I just beat my little sister at Dr. Robotnick's Mean Bean Machine.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
My Jeep is so much faster than your bike.
Monday, May 30, 2005
I could totally take your little sister in badminton.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Study: Three months of summer better than all nine months of school year combined.
Monday, May 9, 2005
I don't mean to be rude, but could you please move your extremely personal and emotional cell phone conversation somewhere else? Thanks, Dear. Here's a tissue.
Friday, April 15, 2005
First post!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
First post!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Home of the Wysz gets Terms of Service.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
News Bit: Infamous "Misty Whisperwind" hacker revealed to be The Wysz.
Announcement: Sunday's Vocal Chords rehearsal canceled for the Oscars.
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
Word of Chris hacked.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
"Wysz, The" listed in Baltimore phone book!
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Snow causes Saturday.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Antidote free with purchase.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Wysz carded.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Crayola launches online music store, desktop search tool.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Wysz is first in line at the Bethesda Row Apple Store.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Family Guy episode references everything.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Force goes unreckoned with.
Wednesday, October 6, 2004
Slacker's photo assignment titled "Ritz 1-Hour Photo: One Hour Ago."
Tuesday, October 5, 2004
Student disciplined for his "dastardly attack" on and "gross misuse" of the campus escort program.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
I'm back.
Monday, March 29, 2004
After much deliberation, this website has been shut down to preserve the integrity of the person who once ran it. Advised by his consiglieri, Ted Skuchas, Wysz has ceased all updates of this informative and entertaining site. The memories are all we have now.
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Michael Wyszomierski attends "Fraternity Party."
Friday, March 26, 2004
"Wysz" defined in the Urban Dictionary.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Blue Man Group now available on the iTunes Music Store! Listen to a few samples, buy what you like, and if you're really into it and have a surround sound system, I highly recommend the DVD version of Audio.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Ted Skuchas attacked by flying red arrow.
Wednesday, March 3, 2004
Smug Mac user asks to be unsubscribed from IT Department's virus-warning emails.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Rioters can't remember if they're protesting, celebrating, or simply rioting.
Wednesday, February 18, 5004
Time machine taken back to two years ago for free under-warranty repairs.
Monday, February 16, 2004
ironviking 60 (11:53:08 PM): well, I have a new screen name which I'll be gradually phasing in over the next couple of weeks
Skier Wysz (11:53:20 PM): which is?
ironviking 60 (11:53:36 PM): eightman1984
ironviking 60 (11:54:09 PM): I would appreciate a general annoucement on your website, I wouldn't want to disappoint my legions of fans
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Scientists complete $3.8 billion project to create "smallest thing ever," then misplace it.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Brit arrested for drinking whilst motoring.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Last remaining Final Cut Pro keyboard label finally gives up and lets go, gloriously flutters to the floor after one last keystroke.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Mandatory survey completed in 27.3 seconds.
Monday, February 9, 2004
Remember my AtAT mention? Well, now that episode has been mentioned in the New York Times.
Sunday, February 8, 2004
Athlete called a "hero" for some reason.
Saturday, February 7, 2004
iPod flaunted.
Friday, February 6, 2004
The scene of yesterday's AtAT mention has now also been noted by MacMinute, and CNET, with CNET's article also being published on MSNBC.
Thursday, February 5, 2004
First Letterman, then Letterman again, then Dave Barry, and now As The Apple Turns! I'm getting pretty good at this "get my name mentioned in cool places" thing.

Update: The AtAT scene made it to Boing Boing Blog!
Thanks to The Trumbot for finding the Boing Boing mention.
Wednesday, February 4, 2004
Hungry college student "microwaving everything."
Saturday, January 31, 2004
Wysz receives "Visitor of the Month" award from!

Upon accepting the award, Wysz requests a version which is on fire: Visitor of the Month - Jan / 04
Friday, January 30, 2004
Student finds classroom's "sweet spot" offering an unobstructed view of both clock and window.
Friday, January 16, 2004
Apple Computer having trouble explaining "sold out" songs in iTunes Music Store.
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Wallet worth more money than it will ever carry.
Wednesday, December 8, 2003
Movie character ignores repeated warnings by dramatic music and opens the door anyway.
Monday, December 8, 2003
Shh! Classic is sleeping.
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Halftime show more interesting than game.
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Signature 4 times longer than actual body of email.
Monday, November 17, 2003
brb? I doubt that!
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
I'm sorry, but according to my AIM logs, you never said that.
Wednesday, November 5, 2003
Comedian obviously joking.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Away message revised.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
News Bit: AIM conversation forged for profile quote.
Announcement: It's my dad's birthday.
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Computer correctly identifies friend's email forward as spam.
Friday, October 24, 2003
Jackhammer "not a toy."
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Tic-Tac-Toe tournament ends in 200-way tie.
Sunday, October 19, 2003
Musician: "I'll put your song on my Celebrity Playlist if you put my song on your Celebrity Playlist."
Friday, October 17, 2003
Unclear if woman's outfit is a costume.
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Many corportations remain vulnerable to potential Y3K bug.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Cheese's power beheld.
Friday, October 10, 2003
Consumer not convinced that company was glad to replace her product.
Tuesday, October 7, 2003
I came up with a really really good News Bit and/or Announcement last night (possibly while dreaming) but I can't remember what it was.
Saturday, September 20, 2003
Pregnant man probably just faking it.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
Isabel Williams flattered by her new popularity among students; friends don't have the heart to tell her she shares name with popular hurricane.
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Microsoft issues official virus alert via chain email.
Monday, September 15, 2003
Ring tone nominated for Grammy.
Monday, September 1, 2003
Google successfully caches entire Internet, not quite sure what to do now.
Friday, August 15, 2003
Screen name not as cool as it was 8 years ago.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
I'm awesome.
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
I know the light is green, but I haven't finished my Wendy's Classic Single yet.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Gift certificate paid for with gift certificate.
Friday, July 4, 2003
Fireworks are awesome.
Thursday, July 3, 2003
Adults still giggle at the sight of underwear in a parking lot.
Wednesday, July 2, 2003
Young adults play on playground and roll down hills of wet grass.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Same mature college students build a fort and watch E.T..
Tuesday, June 3, 2003
Mature college students spend night playing hide and go seek and watching Shrek.
Monday, June 2, 2003
Kids just don't appreciate naptime.
Sunday, June 1, 2003
Motel has COLOR television in almost every room.
Saturday, May 31, 2003
Touch-sensitive lamp isn't a toy, but it should be.
Friday, May 30, 2003
Day after breakup spent removing ex's info from buddy list, home phone, email address books, cell phone, Palm, work phone, mail address book, car phone, fax machine, and post-it notes.
Thursday, May 29, 2003
Concession stand purchases cost more than budget of the film.
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
Driver gets cramp.
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Rebel is morally opposed to morals.
Monday, May 26, 2003
Outtakes better than actual movie.
Sunday, May 25, 2003
Away message plagiarized.
Saturday, May 24, 2003
Our conversation will be extremely vague until I remember who you are.
Friday, May 23, 2003
New S.U.V. has soul of a sports car, in the sense that sports cars and S.U.V.'s don't actually have souls. Also, Kodak's film doesn't really have a mental condition making it think it's a camera.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
PC owner still using floppies.
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Your computer would like to remind you that it knows when you search the Internet for a new computer, so all the whispering isn't necessary.
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Tall man asked if he plays basketball.
Monday, May 19, 2003
Look at that smell!
Sunday, May 18, 2003
Bird dreams about flying, wakes up, and flies.
Saturday, May 17, 2003
Voicemail greeting rehearsed.
Friday, May 16, 2003
If that's going to leave a mark, it better be a cool one.
Thursday, May 15, 2003
I was so tired that I fell asleep.
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
Teacher doesn't even bother to feign interest in the subject when the smart kid is absent.
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
TiVo is getting tired of watching that commercial.
Monday, May 12, 2003
The kids aren't crying because they're scared; they're angry because the storm is disrupting the satellite reception.
Sunday, May 11, 2003
I bought this CD, and I'm going to listen to it until I like it.
Saturday, May 10, 2003
Fifteen minutes of fame are just a shout-out in a friend's AIM profile.
Friday, May 9, 2003
Most people aren't really lauging when they type "lol".
Thursday, May 8, 2003
I'm going to look away while the server brings the bill, and then yell at you for taking it. Understand?
Wednesday, May 7, 2003
Doll remains undefeated in staring tournament.
Tuesday, May 6, 2003
Average viewer knows if movie was made in the '80s within first 5 minutes.
Monday, May 5, 2003
Date cancelled due to season finale of The Practice.
Sunday, May 4, 2003
Spring weather prompts homeowners to go outside and remove wreaths and icicle lights.
Saturday, May 3, 2003
Stalking is no longer considered to be the sincerest form of flattery.
Friday, May 2, 2003
Radio station mistakingly plays Musak.
Thursday, May 1, 2003
Not surprisingly, I wasn't really surprised when I wasn't surprised by the surprise.
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
Student's first love ends up being Courier New.
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
Consistently late student thinks he just saved his grade by arriving five minutes early today.
Monday, April 28, 2003
I better not post Mom's age if I know what's good for me. Happy birthday, Mom!
Sunday, April 27, 2003
Door slam, loud sigh, pouting expression, and even a bitter away message fail to initiate sympathetic questioning.
Saturday, April 26, 2003
Thank you for pretending you didn't hear me say that.
Friday, April 25, 2003
I'll get back to you after I think of a good excuse.
Thursday, April 24, 2003
Wysz changes name of popular "News Bit" segment to "News Bit and/or Announcement."
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Animation industry whistle-blower reveals that cartoon outtakes are actually scripted.
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Man lies in online away messages to make his life sound more exciting.
Monday, April 21, 2003
TiVo records infomercial.
Sunday, April 20, 2003
Magical rabbit lays eggs.
Saturday, April 19, 2003
Student has awkward encouter with teacher off-campus.
Friday, April 18, 2003
Sneeze secretly enjoyed.
Thursday, April 17, 2003
Frustrated user not quite sure if the computer has accepted his verbal apology for his harsh language and keyboard banging.
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
Mom just won't accept "I got in a fight with a dinosaur" as an explanation of Billy's black eye.
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
Clean socks put in laundry bag by mistake. No rescue attempted.

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