Why did JHU accept me?

Tony's explanation: I'm what's known as the "counterbalance."

When I saw the file "Picture 5" on my desktop, I remembered that I have been an idiot for a long time. When I was in kindergarten, one of the teachers was explaining how to draw the number 5. I already knew how to do it, but she was a grownup so I gave her method a try. First, she asked me to trace the outline of my hand from the tip of my right index finger to the tip of my right thumb. This created a 5, but without the horizontal bar on top. I knew that something was missing, and waited for the next step. "Now, put a hat on it!" she instructed, expecting me to simply add the final line. I had no idea how a hat would make what I had so far look any more like a 5, but I tried to keep an open mind and drew a top hat on my incomplete 5. It still didn't look right. The teacher tried not to laugh, and explained that she wasn't really looking for a hat. Embarrassed, I started erasing my mistake, but my teacher stopped me. She wanted me to save it. So, I drew a correct 5 on the back of the paper and took it home. My mom saved it, and I'm pretty sure we still have it today. If I remember, I'll check next time I go home.

Other stuff I remember about kindergarten:
-Sesame Street game on an Apple II
-Making candles
-Kids blowing the lights out on their birthdays
-Pouring liquid nitrogen on the carpet

Posted: Sun - October 19, 2003 at 10:16 AM