Conflicting Reports

Which is the greatest city?

Alan Kalter refers to New York as "the greatest city in the world" when opening The Late Show. Benches in Baltimore have the phrase "America's Greatest City" posted on them. At first, I thought that Alan and the benches can't both be correct simultaneously. If New York is the world's greatest city, then it must also be the greatest city in America. Tonight, I realized that both phrases are true. The benches don't say "Baltimore, America's Greatest City."* It is only assumed that the phrase refers to the city that the benches are in. "America's Greatest City" is actually referring to New York, which makes sense since it is "the greatest city in the world," and therefore the greatest in any country on Earth. Baltimore stole New York's benches.

*This may not be true; I can't confirm it because there isn't a bench close by. Truth or not, it really helps to set up my joke, so just go with it.

Posted: Wed - October 29, 2003 at 03:09 AM