Academic Highlights

Actual excerpts from Wysz's papers


From the Cover Page
(History, 11th grade)

"Use of the Broken Japanese Communication Codes by the Americans In World War II

Sleepless Student:
MichA+el Wyszomierski

Generous Teacher:"

"Underpaid Typist:
Volker Von Überdenheimmennolouseken"

Large Title
(Spanish 3 Honors, 10th grade)

For this paper, I added a half-page title on the first page containing the same information as the cover page. The rest of the paper written in a 14 pt handwriting font.

(History, 10th grade)

One staple would be the bare minimum, so for this term paper I stapled all four corners, and possibly even the sides.

The Überbinder
(Creative Non-Fiction, 12th grade)

"'Good morning. I am John Latting, the director of admissions here at Johns Hopkins University. I would like to begin by congratulating you on being accepted.'
    'So this guy let me in,' I thought, 'Sucker.' He had no idea that I was the scholar who decided to attend the open house on Wednesday rather than Saturday so that he would have an excuse to neglect his homework for a day."

"On the back cover, there is an index. The first and only section is labeled 'Papers.' These papers contain my notes for every subject, and dispersed among them are quizzes, tests, term papers, and letters handed out in advisory that never made it home. This format of organization actually helped me to enjoy my exams. Each paper had material for at least two different subjects, so knowing that sorting the papers was impossible, I simply didn’t study and played Crazy Taxi on my Dreamcast game console instead."

"some of them are slightly charred, but I have no comment on that."

"I lost track of the locker’s contents. One day I was shocked by the discovery of a tuna fish sandwich that had been stored in there for three months"

"In Spanish last year, I once had to rip off the cover of my planbook and use it to take a quiz. This year’s sequel in Spanish was a poster that was created for a presentation on a paper towel, and a bonus was an assignment handed in on the back of my schedule. I don’t even know if my home printer works, since every paper has been printed at school on the due date."

The Crying of Lot 49 Response Paper
(Expository Writing, Spring 2003)

"Humor- Does it Mean Anything?
And Does it Matter?" [title]

"In this response I will just raise the question of the meaning of some of these occurrences; I will not answer it."

"I cannot tell if they offer any deep meaning in the novel, but they do add to the story’s humor. Oedipa’s husband, Mucho Maas is a great example. Maas is close to the Spanish word 'más,' which means 'more.' Since 'mucho' translates to 'much,' then Oedipa’s husband is Much More. Another interestingly named character is Mike Fallopian"

"Randolph Driblette sounds like the name of an incoherent fool. The first part of the name is almost 'dribble,' and the 'ette' indicates something even smaller. When I apply this to a person, I imagine a man who either speaks, acts, or thinks in 'driblets.' And, as I look in my dictionary, I realize that the word’s meaning is exactly the way I constructed it."

"Dr. Hilaruis’s name is, well, hilarious"

"Perhaps Pynchon chose 'Inverarity' for Pierce’s last name because it sounds like it might be a word, and leaves the reader searching for its meaning. According to the dictionary, it has none. However, the second part of the word is 'rarity,' whatever that’s worth. Of course there’s also the name of the main character, Oedipa. This name sounds like the feminine version of Oedipus, but according to my computer, Oedipa is not the correct spelling of a name, and therefore must not exist. So that probably means something, or quite possibly it does not."

Do We Belong In Space?
(Expository Writing, Spring 2003)

"Contrary to popular belief, NASA’s spaceships are not edible."

"In the 1998 blockbuster film 'Armageddon', a large asteroid is headed for the Earth. If humans cannot interfere with its course, everyone on the planet will perish. In one scene, Dan Truman, a NASA administrator, says, 'For thirty years they've questioned the need for NASA. Today we're going to give them the answer.' 'They' got the answer in the movie when NASA’s scientists played a major role in saving the world. (Bay) Saving over six billion lives would be an excellent example of a reason to continue the funding of space research, but unfortunately (for this argument) it is fictitious."

"The feeling that many Americans have is vividly illustrated in an interview with Matthew Miller, a social commentator who has no direct connections with NASA or other space programs. He claims that one defense for why Americans should and do continue to support NASA is “purely because it is so [fascinating.] [...] [It] exists simply because we can [support such a program]. [...] You can’t not explore space.” (Miller)"

On the Works Cited page: "Miller, Matthew D. Personal interview. 26 Apr. 2003."

The appendix consisted of the famous illustrations from Strong Bad's "Englilsh paper." (Figure 1: Eating one battery. Figure 2: Eating five batteries.)