Blue Bow Tie
For PC's!

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Regular Version

On Sunday, April 6, 2003 at about 5:00 AM, I had a revelation. You can create a ridiculously large blue bow tie using a blue collapsible laundry basket. When I made this wonderful discovery, I immediately showed the people who were in my room, playing my roommate's video games. Their reaction: "Wysz made a joke?"

The basket used in this example is a stock item; it was not modified in any way. Keep in mind that this tie is not recommended for all events. When I say that it's "ridiculously large," I mean it's cnn.com headline-large. Please use proper discretion when wearing this in public.

Fold the basket so it is flat, and then squeeze the long sides to form the shape of a bow tie. There are multiple ways to display your RIDICULOUSLY LARGE blue bow tie. Two suggestions are illustrated below:

"The Uppercut"

This technique is recommended for beginners. With this position, you have the advantage of superior grip. To be extra safe, you could use both hands, but when the uppercut is executed properly, one hand is sufficient. This move is also a good alternative for people who lack the incredible Michael Wyszomierski-level of index finger and thumb strength necessary to pull off the pinch.

"The Pinch"

If you want to show off how much the basket is actually compressed at its center, use the pinch. This move is a bit riskier than the uppercut. Since the springy metal skeleton of the basket is restrained by only two fingers, and will constantly resist the force of your hand, the chance of slippage increases. (See below.) Do not use the pinch while in motion or in a crowded area, where you may be bumped. It is only recommended that you use the pinch for a brief period, such as showing off your new attire to a friend, or posing for a picture.


"The Pinch" gone bad.

Few things in life are more embarrassing than having your RIDICULOUSLY LARGE blue bow tie fly out of your control. Who can respect a person who can't hold on to his or her own tie?

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Best part of making the bow tie page: The expression on my roommate's face when he woke up and saw me taking a picture of myself holding a laundry basket.

Thanks to Tony Trumbo for linking to this page.

Copyright © 2003 Michael Wyszomierski.
All Rights Reserved.

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