Pillows

Recently, I was getting ready to do laundry, and after removing one of my pillowcases, I noticed washing instructions on one of my pillows. I didn’t know you could wash pillows. Then I started to panic. I’ve had these pillows for over a year and never washed them. If you are supposed to wash something, going a year without doing it is pretty gross. Does everyone else in the world wash their pillows? What if I’m some kind of sicko and the only person in the world who doesn’t wash his pillows? I decided I needed to wash my pillows and my shame immediately, and threw them in the washer. After the wash cycle, the damp pillows went into the dryer. And after the dryer was finished, they still felt… not dry. So I ran the dryer again. And again. And they still didn’t feel right. They didn’t quite smell right, either. I asked around at work. Nobody washes pillows.

So I bought new ones. The memory foam kind that I’m confident no one expects me to wash. They arrived today, and they will never be cleaner.