Ted is now playing in the ABA, which apparently exists, and is even featured in a recent film. Now I’m no sports expert, but something sounds fishy here. Why would a bunch of lawyers want to start a basketball league? The slippery floors, discrimination based on physical abilities… I just can’t see that as a situation where they’d want to be defendants. Nevertheless, there was, in fact, a basketball league known as the ABA created in 1967, but according to this memorial, ended its run in 1976, before Ted was even born.
More than that, Ted claims to be a player for the “Frost Heaves,” conveniently located way up in Vermont, where there are probably polar bears and stuff. Frost Heaves? That doesn’t sound like a real team name. I don’t even know what heaves are, and had to look it up. Heaves is a respiratory disease of horses, characterized by flatulence.
But Ted is my friend, so I trusted him upon hearing of his new accomplishment, and soon thought this trust was confirmed when I saw news articles appearing mentioning Ted’s new role. However, reading a couple articles past the headlines showed otherwise. For example, look at the following snippet from this article from the Times Argus in Vermont:
Skucha will have little time to acclimate himself to Vermont.
Skuchas, a recently-sgined 6-11 Vanderbilt graduate, made his home debut against the Rainmen, who fell to 8-18.
Note that both articles include typos which should have easily been caught by a news publication with any sort of proofreading resources (such as a spellchecker). If you’ve ever attempted an IM conversation with Ted, you know that typos are part of his trademark style.
Nice try, Ted.