Category: Quote

Why I’m qualified to work in search

Reid
hey wysz
Michael Wyszomierski
 hey reid
Reid
since you know so much about the office
Reid
i wanted to find the episode
Reid [timestamp: 12:07:46]
where dwight and jim have poor employee review scores
Michael Wyszomierski [timestamp: 12:07:55]
 customer survey
Reid
that’s the name?
Michael Wyszomierski
 is the name of the episode
Michael Wyszomierski
 yes
Reid
WOW
Reid
you’re good
Michael Wyszomierski
 thanks
Michael Wyszomierski
 http://www.hulu.com/watch/43180/the-office-customer-survey
Reid
wow that was amazing
Reid
good job

In an oddly angry mood today

Michael Wyszomierski
 thnaks
Michael Wyszomierski
 taknks
Michael Wyszomierski
 thanks
Michael Wyszomierski
 will do
Mike Leotta
 drunk?
Michael Wyszomierski
 no, just sitting in a weird position
Michael Wyszomierski
 and still getting used to my macbook wheel
Mike Leotta
 hahah
Mike Leotta
 that got like 1500 diggs in about 20 minutes today
Michael Wyszomierski
 wow
Michael Wyszomierski
 it was really well done
Michael Wyszomierski
 i liked the attention to detail
Michael Wyszomierski
 everything looked like real apple marketing material
Michael Wyszomierski
 they got the font and look and everything just right
Michael Wyszomierski
 even made those little signs you see in apple stores
Michael Wyszomierski
 very well done
Michael Wyszomierski
 better than the “real” news i heard on the radio this morning
Michael Wyszomierski
 that said “apple’s mac expo” was in town
Michael Wyszomierski
 which is totally wrong
Michael Wyszomierski
 it’s called Macworld, and it’s not apple’s conference
Michael Wyszomierski
 i yelled at my radio but they didn’t hear me
Mike Leotta
 hahah
Michael Wyszomierski
 and then i started yelling that california forgot how to drive while i was gone
Michael Wyszomierski
 it was a lovely morning
Mike Leotta
 i got stuck in traffic during the 2 mile drive from the dentist to work
Mike Leotta
 i wasn’t happy either
Michael Wyszomierski
 that always fascinates me
Michael Wyszomierski
 how there is traffic in the late morning
Michael Wyszomierski
 i mean who are all these people?
Michael Wyszomierski
 are they all late for work every day?
Mike Leotta
 you’re one of them

Clown computing

If you’ve ever had Mike repeat what you just said using slightly different words that completely change the meaning, you will not be surprised that his mind works this way:

Mike: so far the docs have been helping a lot this year
hooray Google!
Me: cloud computing!
Mike: sometimes when i hear someone say that very fast, i hear clown computing
and i get really excited, and a little scared

Engineering pleasant surprises

I prefer Pepsi, but at restaurants, I order Coke. I do this because it’s more likely that the restaurant serves Coke and not Pepsi. So instead of setting myself up for disappointment the majority of the time, I instead ask in a way that will either get me what I ordered (satisfactory), or a pleasant surprise.

Here’s how it goes down when they serve Pepsi:
Me: I’ll have a Coke.
Server: I’m sorry, is Pepsi okay?
Me: Even better.

See, I’m happy, and so is the server, who went from feeling sorry to relieved to having a happy customer.

Personal mondegreens

I was thinking about two of my childhood mondegreens tonight, and for the first time I searched for them to see if I was the only one who had (mis)heard the same thing. Turns out I’m not as unique as I thought.

Stop in my neighborhood instead of stop in the name of love
From “Stop! In the Name of Love”

Hold me closer, Tony Danza instead of hold me closer, tiny dancer
From “Tiny Dancer.” This was even in a Friends episode.

Still, I do have one that I only learned was incorrect last year:
People vacuuming on New Year’s Eve with a smile

Twice in one day

Leah
hi
Michael Wyszomierski
 hi
Leah
what’s going on?
Michael Wyszomierski
 nothing
Leah
oh
Leah
the phillies live another day
Michael Wyszomierski
 if you’re just trying to do small talk you should know by now that for me you’ll have to choose something other than sports

Reid Yokoyama
 hi wysz
Michael Wyszomierski
 hi reid
Reid Yokoyama
 how are you?
Michael Wyszomierski
 happy to be talking to you
Michael Wyszomierski
 how are you
Reid Yokoyama
 wow
Reid Yokoyama
 good
Reid Yokoyama
 just wanted to say hi
Michael Wyszomierski
 haha really
Michael Wyszomierski
 i really only do well in conversations with a clear business need