Whenever someone has just had a baby, they always hook you up with some stats: What time it was born, how long it is, and how much it weighs. I guess this is meaningful to some people, but to me, whenever someone gives me any kind of information about a baby, I just see the same generic baby in my head. I don’t know how to process the information differently depending on the values of the different variables. However, I’m not criticizing parents who do this. Because to be honest, at this point, there’s not much to say about the new person yet. They haven’t invented some cool new gadget or resolved an international conflict. At this point, the only accomplishment of this baby is existing and taking up physical space. So, I guess length and weight are pretty good.