Submitted via the Personal Wyszdom request:

Should I dye my hair blonde? Or maybe get blonde highlights?

If you’re a girl:
Do whatever you want. It’s pretty much a given these days that you can’t expect to know a girl’s natural hair color. Just understand that most guys probably won’t notice changes to your hair unless you remove it completely, so do this for yourself and not to impress anyone. But if you really want my opinion, I vote for highlights.

If you’re a guy and you’re not from some beach town in Southern California or a member of ‘N Sync:

First date

Submitted via the Personal Wyszdom request:

Hi Wysz. What type of place would you recommend for a first date? Do you have any tips on how to make a good impression?

This depends on how well you know the other person. If you can find a common interest or know of something that he/she likes, then that makes it easier. If you don’t have much info or any better ideas, you can of course fall back on the classics: a bite at the local burger joint or pizza parlor followed by a monster movie at the drive-in, or perhaps an organized event like the sock hop.

You may also want to consider some important details for making the evening comfortable for both of you:

Don’t go anywhere with complicated food. Finger-friendly fare such as french fries and pizza is desirable over more challenging dishes that could potentially make you or your date look foolish. I mean if you give the impression that you don’t even know how to eat by now, after eating every day of your life, it’s just not going to go well. Even spaghetti can be a little much… have you ever had that impossible bowl where you just spin and spin your fork and no matter what you do it doesn’t get to a point where you can get it in your mouth without slurping?

Use an activity to reduce the pressure for conversation and minimize awkward silences. Movies are great, because it’s actually against the rules to talk for a couple hours of your date. Plus, it gives you a filler topic for the rest of the time. Before the movie, you can discuss what you’ve heard about it. After, you can discuss what you thought about it. The same goes for almost any other activity, such as dinner, a night at the roller rink, or miniature golf. Here’s an example:

Before the activity:
You: Have you ever been mini-golfing before?
Date: Yes, I have.
You: Me too!

During the activity:
You: What’s your score so far?
Date: 18.
You: Me too!

After the activity:
You: Did you like that course?
Date: Yes, I enjoyed it. My favorite part was the windmill.
You: Me too!

So those are some basic tips when it comes to planning. As for making a good first impression, think of it like a job interview. Have a few stories about yourself ready to work into the conversation no matter what, but make sure they give an honest illustration of who you are, so you can see how your date reacts to the true you. But don’t talk about yourself the whole time. Spend extra effort asking about the other person and getting to know him or her. If you find yourself beginning to be truly interested in what they have to say, then that’s a good sign. Just don’t be creepy in your questioning, like prying for information about previous relationships. You don’t want to go there.

Disclaimer: Wysz didn’t even go to prom, but he has been to multiple drive-ins.

Pick-up line

Submitted via the Personal Wyszdom request:

What do you think is the best pick up line?

If you’re a guy asking for advice on how to get a girl, I’ll say this: Do you really think a one-liner will get you a girl? Do you really want a girl who is sold by a single sentence? I think you’re asking the wrong question. I can tell you one of the worst, however, and I’ve used it on someone very special:

Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Huh?
Me: When you fell on your face, did it hurt?


Submitted via the Personal Wyszdom request:

What is the best way to decorate/organize my room to appeal to the ladies?

Is that creepy? I recently watched a video that said ending any sentence with “ladies” makes you sound like a creep. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiFrfeJ8dKM (4:00)

I don’t want to sacrifice my style (toys). I also don’t want it to look like a girl’s room.

You can make almost anything not creepy as long as you indicate that you’re doing it as a joke. So if you want to end your sentences with “ladies,” just make sure the ladies have seen that video.

Let me first tell you about my room, because I’ve done it all wrong so far. It has no personality. My walls are bare and white, there is nothing on my shelves, and my sheets are black. If you took a color picture of it, it would still look black and white. Upon seeing it for the first time, one of “the ladies” told me “it looks like the place where people go to die.”

Fortunately, you already have a “style,” so you’re halfway there. Let’s first start with what you can use. Continue to display the cute toys. Animals or anything that is plush/soft should be fine. Items which appear violent or look like action figures may be better off in the closet. And think about adding some candles. They may make the room a little more feminine, but scented candles are actually pretty nice once you give them a chance. Consider adding some pictures, but be careful if you use pictures of people. Make sure to keep a few stuffed animals around, and get some soft pillows as well. Plants are an easy way to make a place seem more homey and they’re pretty easy to take care of. Blankets are always good. Keep one nearby wherever you think one of the ladies might decide to perch. Finally, and coincidentally related to the video you linked to, put a guitar in the corner of your room. It doesn’t matter if you can’t play. Just get a guitar. The ladies love that.

Breakup Gifts

Submitted via the Personal Wyszdom request:

Breakup Gifts

When you break up with someone, what should you do with the presents you received from him/her? Put it in a box? Throw it back in their face? Sell it?

Based on my extensive legal background on the subject, including an episode of Judge Judy that I saw once, you are under no legal obligation to return gifts. A gift is a gift, and once received, you (the recipient) own it. The only thing you should do with the presents is whatever you want. However, I would not recommend throwing the gift into his/her face, as that may be considered assault.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer but I’ve seen one on TV.

How do I Become Mrs. Wysz?

Submitted via the Personal Wyszdom request:

How do I Become Mrs. Wysz?

This question is for the benefit of all Wysz stalkers everywhere! What about a girl impresses The Wysz?…What would a girl have to do to land a date with you?

Even though I set up this advice column to answer questions mostly asked by guys about their relationships, I get personal questions like this all the time. In fact, 1/3 of all submissions to that form so far have asked this question. There are really a bunch of questions in here, so let me tackle them one by one. It’s pretty late and I have work in the morning, so I’ll just answer these quickly. Feel free to send me a followup message or post in the comments below.

How to become Mrs. Wysz:
This one is pretty easy. Just marry Mr. Wysz. He’s probably Polish.

What about a girl impresses me:
Fire dancing almost always works but is not required.

What a girl would have to do to get a date with me:
She doesn’t have to do anything. But to get bonus points and increase her chances with a shy guy like me, she could just flip that gender role around and, you know, ask.

Just like Will Smith

I’ve been giving out advice to guys like crazy this week. I’m like Will Smith in Hitch. This makes sense, as I am incredibly qualified. Here’s a short list of reasons why I should be trusted:

Koklynn suggested that I start an advice service on my website, so I’m pleased to announce that I’m launching one right now! Simply visit this page and fill out the anonymous form. Your name and email address are optional, and as of this writing I’m not even enabling the option to send me your IP address. If you’re lucky, I’ll answer it right here on my blog.